What is that “thing” you are running from?

It is a common saying in addiction treatment that “secrets keep you sick” and “you’re only as sick as your secrets”. This saying not only applies to individuals who are dealing with chemical dependency but also to every one of us who chooses to suffer in silence rather than reveal our struggles to the ones who love us. But where does this need to hide come from? Have you ever wanted to talk to a friend, spouse, or family member about something that is pressing on your heart but instead you choose to keep it inside? What is that “thing” you are running from? Is it the fear of embarrassment? The fear of judgment? The fear of disappointment? The fear of no longer living up to their expectations? Are you afraid that they will treat you differently? That they won’t listen to what you have to say? That they will try to “fix” you?

The act of being able to get things out of your head and speak them is such a cathartic experience that God told us that we can speak things into existence (Romans 4:17) and that life and death is in the power of our tongues (Proverbs 18:21). If you understand what power you have by simply speaking, it is no wonder why our tongues are often held captive by fear and shame.

Fear and shame is like a fungus that breeds and grows in darkness; the longer we hold things inside and try to cover them up the more fear and shame keeps us silent. The quote in the image above states that talking has the ability to kill the power, of the thoughts in our minds, by allowing the truth of things to hit the air. What does this really mean? I have sat across from clients who are speaking thoughts that have been running circles in their mind creating fear, worry, and anxiety. As they begin to speak these thoughts aloud I can see the light bulb go off, they often say “now that I hear myself say it aloud, I really should have done this or I really should not have worried about that”.  Speaking things aloud allows you to hear what you have said, decipher if what you have said is true, and empowers you to choose what to do with this new information.

I know it can be hard to open up and share your thoughts or secrets, especially if you have been holding on to it for so long. But I implore you to consider talking to someone; maybe a close trusted friend, spouse, family member, clergy member, or a local counselor. Set the stage for your needs; it is fair to ask this person to simply listen, without judgment or feedback, and just give you the opportunity to share what has been on your mind and heart. If you’re thinking, “I’m not ready to share this secret with someone else just yet”, remember that God is always available, ready, and willing to listen (Psalm 61).

A friend is someone you share the path with. ~ African proverb

Looking for a safe space to begin the conversation? Take the next step and contact me if you have any questions or would like to schedule a 30-minute consultation.