Are You Listening to Your Body?

When something feels off in your body, do you push through it, hoping it will pass? Or do you stop and advocate for yourself, ensuring you get the care you deserve? I’ve been there. For months, I ignored swelling in my legs and feet, assuming it was something minor. But when the symptoms persisted, I realized I needed to push for answers.

Too often, we trust medical professionals to have all the answers, but you are the expert of your own body. No one will advocate for your health like you can.

Why You Must Be Your Own Biggest Advocate

If you’ve ever felt dismissed or unheard by a doctor, you’re not alone. Many people—especially women and people of color—experience medical gaslighting, where their concerns are minimized or symptoms are treated instead of investigated. It’s frustrating, exhausting, and, at times, frightening. When I was prescribed a medication to treat my swelling without a deeper investigation, I knew I had to take matters into my own hands. I pushed for additional tests, saw multiple specialists, and refused to accept vague answers.

You have the power to change the narrative around your health by standing up for yourself and demanding the care you deserve.

How to Take Charge of Your Health

If you’re facing a health challenge, here are some essential steps to ensure you’re actively involved in your own care:

1. Ask Questions: Never be afraid to challenge what you’re told. Ask about alternative diagnoses, additional tests, and possible side effects of medications.
2. Do Your Research: Understanding potential conditions can help you ask better questions and make informed decisions about your care.
3. Seek a Second Opinion: If something doesn’t feel right, find another doctor. Your health is too important to accept uncertainty.
4. Track Your Symptoms: Keep a journal of when symptoms appear, what makes them worse, and how they impact your daily life.
5. Bring Support: A trusted friend or family member can help ask questions, take notes, and provide emotional support.
6. Push for More Testing: If you feel like your concerns aren’t being taken seriously, insist on further tests. It’s better to be proactive than regretful.

Acknowledge the Emotional Toll

Advocating for yourself isn’t just about pushing for answers—it’s about managing the emotional weight of uncertainty. I know how difficult it is to keep showing up for life when you’re overwhelmed by health concerns. Balancing work, family, and your own well-being can feel impossible. But one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that it’s okay to pause, breathe, and acknowledge your emotions.

Build Your Support System

Who do you turn to when you’re struggling? Being “the strong one” in your circle can be isolating, but no one should have to go through these challenges alone. I had to learn how to lean on my support system, and I encourage you to do the same. Identify the people who truly support you—whether it’s family, friends, or a therapist—and let them be there for you. Asking for help is not a weakness; it’s a necessity.

Celebrate Small Wins

Not every challenge will have immediate answers, but that doesn’t mean progress isn’t being made. Sometimes, a win is simply getting out of bed. Sometimes, it’s making a doctor’s appointment or advocating for the right tests. Throughout my journey, I had to remind myself that even if I didn’t have all the answers, every step forward was still progress.

Acknowledge those victories, no matter how small, because they are steps forward.

Your Health, Your Power

You are in control of setting the tempo for how you handle life’s challenges. While unexpected obstacles may arise, how you respond is within your power. Take time to process, rely on your support system, and when you’re ready, move forward with intention. Your health matters, and you deserve to be heard.

Take Action Today

If you’ve been putting off advocating for your health, let this be the sign to start now. Schedule that appointment, ask those hard questions, and push for answers. What’s one step you can take today to prioritize your health? Drop a comment below and let’s support each other on this journey.

Thank you for being here. Let’s start the conversation.

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💬 Let’s Connect! Share your thoughts in the comments or let me know what topics you’d like to discuss. And don’t forget to subscribe to This Therapist Has Problems on your YouTube!

#HealthAdvocacy #TakeControl #YouMatter #SelfCare #ThisTherapistHasProblems #MindBodyWellness

Have you ever given someone advice only to realize that you needed to take that advice yourself? That was me. I found myself telling a client, “You need to plan to start, not plan for perfection,” and in that moment, I knew I had to listen to my own words. So, here I am, officially launching This Therapist Has Problems Podcast—a space for raw, honest conversations about mental health.

For years, I dreamed of starting this podcast, but perfectionism held me back. I recorded this first episode multiple times, trying to get everything just right. Then it hit me: the message was more important than the perfect delivery. So, I took a deep breath and started.

Why This Podcast?

As a licensed professional counselor and certified life coach, I have dedicated my career to helping others navigate their mental health. But beyond my credentials, I’m a Black woman who has experienced depression, isolation, and the struggle to find my voice. I know firsthand how difficult it can be to prioritize mental health—especially in the African American community, where stigma and silence often surround these conversations.

I created This Therapist Has Problems Podcast to break that silence. This podcast isn’t just about therapy from a professional standpoint; it’s about being human. Even as a therapist, I go through life’s ups and downs, and I want to create a space where we can be real about it.

My Mental Health Journey

Growing up, I was the go-to listener—the friend everyone turned to for advice. But in being that person, I lost my own voice. I struggled to express my feelings and often battled silent depression. My journey took me through corporate America, where I climbed the ladder of success but felt unfulfilled. Eventually, I found my way back to my passion: mental health. I took a leap of faith, went back to school, and built my private practice, M.B.S Whole Health—focusing on the mind, body, and spirit connection.

Why Mental Health Matters

Mental health isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a crucial part of our overall well-being. Yet, so many of us push through life ignoring the warning signs—stress, anxiety, depression—thinking we can just “handle it.” But handling it doesn’t mean suffering in silence. It means seeking support, finding resources, and giving ourselves permission to heal.

So, let me ask you: How comfortable are you with talking about your mental health? Do you recognize when you’re struggling? Do you have a plan for seeking help? If not, that’s okay. This is why we’re here—to start the conversation.

Finding a Therapist: Where to Start

If you’ve been considering therapy but don’t know where to start, here are a few steps:

1. Check with Your Insurance Provider: Many insurance plans cover mental health services. Call the number on the back of your card or check their website to find in-network therapists.
2. Use Online Directories: Websites like PsychologyToday.com, TherapyForBlackGirls.com, and TherapyForBlackMen.org can help you find a therapist who aligns with your needs.
3. Explore Employee Assistance Programs (EAP): Some workplaces offer free therapy sessions through EAP benefits. Check with your HR department.
4. Look on Social Media: Many therapists share insights on platforms like Instagram and TikTok, giving you a feel for their style and approach.
5. Schedule a Consultation: Some therapists offer free or low-cost consultations to see if they’re the right fit for you.

Join Me on This Journey

Mental health is a journey, not a destination. Whether you’re new to therapy, struggling with self-care, or just looking for a space to feel seen and heard, this podcast is for you. I invite you to step into my office as we figure this out together.

Thank you for being here. Let’s start the conversation.

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💬 Let’s Connect! Share your thoughts in the comments or let me know what topics you’d like to discuss. And don’t forget to subscribe to This Therapist Has Problems on your YouTube!

#ThisTherapistHasProblems #MentalHealth #BlackMentalHealth #SelfCare #Podcast #Authenticity #HealingJourney

Now I know from my own cultural background when you start talking about someone’s mother all defenses go up and the boxing gloves come out. Let me ease your defenses by stating that as a mom myself and coming from a long line of strong women, I understand the many hats that mom’s wear. Often, we must be comforter, entertainer, doctor, housekeeper, chef, chauffeur, coach, teacher, etc. This post is not at all to diminish the importance of your mom/support person and the role they play in your life. However, it is to bring light to the scope of expertise your support person may have when it comes to mental health issues.

Now that I have calmed your concerns that I would be “ragging” on your mom (support system) in this post, let me explain further what I mean when I say your mom is NOT your therapist by painting a picture.

Have you ever been stressed out, overwhelmed, emotional, angry, etc. and you pick up the phone to call your ____ (insert family member or friend) with the hope that they will listen empathically, understand your perspective, give you feedback and encouragement, and build you back up. But instead this person:

• Doesn’t answer the phone
• Half listens before going into how they have a similar issue.
• Tells you that you are overreacting and too emotional
• Chastises you for making the same mistake that you’ve made in the past
• Reads you a few Bible scriptures, says a prayer, and then sends you on your way
• Completely sides with everything you say without giving you honest constructive feedback

Don’t get me wrong, having family and friends to go to in our time of distress is important and this helps us to feel connected to our support system. God created us to be in community with one another. However, I think we must be aware of our family’s limitations and capability of providing us with the support that we need when we are in crisis situations. I will discuss a few things that play a role in limiting our family’s capacity to support our mental health.

Cultural and Spiritual Factors

Cultural and historical events play a role in older generations being able to connect on an emotional level. Speaking specifically from my cultural background, there wasn’t much room to sit and talk about feelings or to discuss hardship. It was understood that difficulties would be there, everyone was experiencing them so there was no point of talking about it. The mindset was to be strong, pray about it, and push through it. I wrote a blog post on the role Christianity plays in mental health which is a good reference for this current post (http://mbswholehealth.com/you-cannot-pray-mental-illness-away/). When we think about our parents and grandparent’s generation and their view on mental health, therapy was not often considered because church was there therapy.

From my personal background, I do not know of anyone in my family who had gone to therapy. Feelings were not largely discussed and there wasn’t an open forum for that. We spent a lot of time laughing and joking over the dinner table but there wasn’t a space for deep conversations about the state of our mental health. There was a period in my life where I felt that I was broken because I struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts. No one in my family had ever said they dealt with this so I felt I was the only one. This led me to further isolate and begin to wear the mask that everything was ok.

Action Item: When considering reaching out to your family for support understand that they can only support you from there span of knowledge and experiences. Your parents may not understand what depression looks like, or that they need to probe a bit deeper when you tell them that you are sad. This does not mean that they do not care, it simply means you may need to seek support from someone who is equipped to understand your issues.

Objectivity

I love family but one thing I know is that they can either be a crutch or a speedbump. What I mean by this is that your family have known you your entire life, so they see you through a lens of their experiences with you.

• If you are known to be strong and responsible your family’s response to your cry for help may be, “oh you are strong, you’ll figure it out” or “you are smart, you will get through this”.
• If you have a history of being emotional, their response can be that you need to “toughen up” or “you’re always so emotional”
• If you’ve had struggles in your life and have made some mistakes, your family’s response may be “here we go again” or “didn’t you say this same thing last time”

These are just a few examples, but it shows that your family has viewed your “track record” so it may be hard for them to decipher when you are truly in need of support and/or constructive feedback. Some family members may side with you and agree with your decision making no matter how destructive it may be. Other family members may oppose every decision you make based on their own perceptions or world view. It is important to note that mental health professionals are not ethically allowed to provide therapeutic services for family or friends. I believe this is largely because it is difficult (even for professionals) to be unbiased when you are closely connected to someone.

Action Item: If you are reaching out to family, please understand the support they give you will be funneled through the lens of their past experiences and current ideals they have about you. There are times in our lives when we need a space to be open and discuss issues and receive objective feedback. This is completely ok and does not mean that we love our family any less.

Accessibility

We all know the feeling when you call someone and the phone rings and rings. It can be especially hurtful when you are in desperate need to connect with that person. What I often hear from individuals who are struggling with mental health issues is that they feel alone, they are the only one dealing with their issues, and no one cares. It takes strength to be willing to reach out to a love one for help and share that you are struggling with an issue. It can be equally as lonely and hurtful when that person is unavailable or disconnected from the conversation.

A common issue that I’ve seen when people reach out for help is that their loved ones do not understand when they need a listening ear versus when they need solutions to the problem. As a parent, I understand the desire to make your child feel better and take their pain away. This can result in quickly rushing to the problem-solving phase rather than taking time to listen to what the person is saying, understanding their thoughts and emotions, and allowing them to share the kind of support they need.

Action Item: There can be a lot of frustration surrounding whether your support person is available and equipped to provide you what you need in a time of distress. Most often than not, families love each other and have the best intentions to be there when needed. It is ok to voice your concerns and needs to your family when they are available and equipped to be there for you. However, if you find yourself reaching out to a support person and they are not available, know that you are not alone. Allow yourself to find a support person outside of your family who is trained on how to properly address mental health issues and able to walk with you through your struggles.

In closing this post, I would like to offer some encouragement. Though your mom is not your therapist, she (or any other loved one) can still be someone who you seek for support and love. It is a blessing to see with every passing year how much more people are becoming comfortable with discussing mental health issues. I feel we each have a responsibility to start the conversation about the importance of mental health within our individual support systems. This begins with each of us becoming more comfortable with dealing with our own mental health.  You may go to your mom for a few home remedies when you are feeling sick but when things become more serious you seek qualified medical attention; we must have this same approach when it comes to our mental health. As a counselor and life coach, I will always advocate for utilizing mental health services to address your needs. I encourage you to find a safe and objective environment where someone will listen, support and help you to become the best version of yourself.