Trauma is often misunderstood. While many people think trauma only involves dramatic or catastrophic events, it can also emerge from seemingly smaller, everyday experiences that leave significant emotional and psychological marks. In this blog post, we explore what trauma truly is, how it manifests, and practical ways you can begin your healing journey.

Defining Trauma

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), trauma is an emotional response to a deeply distressing event that overwhelms your ability to cope, leaving you feeling helpless or unsafe. Trauma isn’t limited to major life events like physical assault or natural disasters; it includes everyday experiences, such as neglect, betrayal, chronic stress, racial trauma, grief, and medical procedures.

Recognizing Signs of Trauma

Trauma can show up differently for everyone. Common indicators include:

• Hypervigilance: Constantly scanning for danger.
• Emotional numbness: Detachment or dissociation from surroundings.
• Chronic anxiety or depression: Persistent feelings of unease without a clear cause.
• Relationship difficulties: Struggling with trust, intimacy, or vulnerability.
• Survival mode: Constantly feeling the need to protect oneself, never truly relaxing.

Big “T” Trauma vs. Little “t” Trauma

Trauma can be categorized into “Big T” trauma (significant, life-changing events) and “little t” trauma (daily experiences often overlooked). Both types profoundly impact your mental, emotional, and physical health. Little “t” traumas, such as repeated criticism, emotional neglect, or gaslighting, can be equally damaging over time.

Trauma in Black Women

Societal expectations of strength and resilience often cause Black women to overlook their trauma symptoms. Socialized to appear strong, many Black women unknowingly carry unresolved trauma, mistaking it for personality traits or daily stress.

The Impact of Trauma

Trauma doesn’t only affect mental health. It manifests physically, emotionally, and behaviorally:

• Physical: Digestive issues, tension, sleep disturbances.
• Emotional: Mood swings, irritability, emotional shutdown.
• Behavioral: People-pleasing, avoiding intimacy, overworking.

Healing is Possible

Recognizing trauma is the first step towards healing. Key therapeutic approaches include:

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Helps process trauma and reduce its emotional impact.
• Somatic Therapy: Focuses on releasing trauma stored physically in the body.
• Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): Repairs attachment wounds from past relationships.
• Psychoeducation: Empowers you through understanding trauma and its effects.

Begin Your Healing Journey

You are not broken, and healing is possible. Start by taking stock of your experiences. Reflect honestly on your past, recognize symptoms, and seek professional support. Trauma-informed therapy can provide a supportive pathway toward healing, helping you release trauma’s hold and reclaim your emotional freedom.

If you’re in Texas and looking for personalized support, consider connecting virtually for trauma-informed counseling.

Ready to take the next step?

If this post stirred something in you, maybe a quiet memory, an old wound, or just a new sense of curiosity, let that be your sign to go deeper.

Your trauma doesn’t have to define you, and you don’t have to carry it alone. Healing is possible when you have the right support and space to unpack what’s been buried or minimized for far too long.

🎧 Dive deeper by watching the full podcast episode: Trauma or Drama? Uncovering Hidden Scars

If you’re in Texas and looking for therapy, reach out to me here.

If you’re located elsewhere and need guidance, I can help connect you with resources or therapists in your area.

You deserve support that honors your full story. Your healing is valid, your pain is real, and your path forward matters.

Need support now?
📞 Call or text 988 for immediate help through the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

If this blog resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who might need it. Let’s keep the conversation going.

#TraumaInformed #EMDRTherapist #HealingTrauma #BlackWomenHealing #MentalHealthAwareness #TherapyForBlackWomen #MentalHealthMatters #ThisTherapistHasProblemsPodcast #MBSWholeHealth

We Need to Talk About Mental Health Trends on Social Media

If you’ve ever watched a TikTok that said, “You might have ADHD if…” or found yourself scrolling through a trauma story that hit a little too close to home, you’re not alone.
Social media has become one of the loudest voices in the mental health conversation, and while that has opened some important doors, it has also created confusion.

In this week’s episode of This Therapist Has Problems Podcast, I’m diving into the growing trend of self-diagnosis based on what we see online and what we need to be mindful of.

The Rise of “Relatable” Mental Health Content

Let me start by saying this: I love that we’re talking about mental health more than ever before. For so long, topics like anxiety, depression, and trauma were avoided or hidden.
Now, mental health shows up on our timelines daily. That visibility can be powerful. People feel seen, validated, and less alone.

But here’s the other side. Relatable does not always mean diagnosable.

When Relatable Becomes Risky

One of the biggest concerns I see in my therapy work is how quickly people start to self-diagnose after seeing a few trending videos.

You’ve probably seen the posts:

• “If you lose your keys all the time, you might have ADHD”
• “If you feel sad and tired, you may be depressed”
• “If you like things clean, maybe you have OCD”

The truth? These symptoms can overlap with stress, burnout, sleep deprivation, or just being human.

Without a full clinical evaluation, it’s not safe or helpful to label yourself with a disorder. Misdiagnosis can lead to unnecessary fear, avoidance, or using a label as a crutch instead of a pathway to healing.

Traits vs. Disorders: There’s a Big Difference

One of the most important things I highlight in the episode is this:
A trait is not a disorder.

Maybe you’re more introverted. Maybe you love routines or need your space to be clean. That doesn’t mean you’re on the autism spectrum or that you have OCD.

When we start assigning ourselves clinical terms without professional guidance, we may be limiting ourselves, reinforcing false narratives, or miscommunicating our needs to others.

What to Do When a Video Hits Home

Here’s how to take a more mindful approach when something you see online feels personal:

1. Pause and reflect
   Ask yourself: Is this a consistent pattern in my life, or just a moment I relate to right now?
2. Do some research from credible sources
   Websites like NAMI, Mayo Clinic, and Psychology Today provide research-backed definitions and criteria.
3. Talk to a licensed professional
   Social media can be a starting point, but it is not a diagnostic tool. Only a mental health provider can assess your full experience in context.
4. Be aware of confirmation bias
   Just because something feels true does not mean it is clinically accurate.
5. Balance your feed
   Mental health content is great, but mix in joy, humor, and content that uplifts you. You are more than what you struggle with.

You Are More Than a Trend or a Label

Here’s what I want you to know, whether you’re just starting your mental health journey or deep in the process:
You are not broken. You are not alone. And you are more than a label.

A diagnosis, when appropriate, is just a tool to help guide treatment and support. It should never become your full identity.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If something you’ve seen online has made you pause and wonder, I invite you to take that curiosity offline and into a space that’s built to support you.

And if you haven’t already, be sure to check out the full podcast episode for a deeper dive into these tools and real-life reflections.

🎧 Watch now: Mental Health Trends & Self-Diagnosis

If you’re in Texas and looking for therapy, reach out to me here.

If you’re located elsewhere and not sure where to begin, I’m happy to help connect you to resources or providers in your state.

You deserve care that’s personal, grounded, and built around your needs, not a social media algorithm.

Need support now?
📞 Call or text 988 for immediate help through the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

Thanks for reading. If this blog resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need to hear it. Let’s keep the conversation going.

#ThisTherapistHasProblemsPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #SelfDiagnosis #TikTokMentalHealth #NatashaMontgomeryLPCS #DFWTherapist #BlackTherapist #TexasTherapist #MentalHealthEducation

Do you ever feel like you have to constantly be doing something—checking off to-do lists, chasing goals, or working on your next big thing? Do you struggle to relax, even when you finally have a free moment? If so, you’re not alone.

Hustle culture has convinced us that success is only possible through nonstop productivity. Whether it’s juggling a full-time job and a side hustle, building a brand, or climbing the corporate ladder, we are constantly told that if we’re not working harder, we’re falling behind.

But here’s the truth: Always being in “go” mode isn’t sustainable.

I know this struggle firsthand. No matter how much I accomplish, my brain is always thinking about what’s next. Even in my so-called “free time,” I find myself planning, strategizing, or thinking about how I can be more productive. And when I do try to rest? That little voice in my head whispers, You could be getting ahead right now.

In this week’s episode of This Therapist Has Problems Podcast, I’m diving into the side effects of hustle culture, how it impacts our mental health, and what we can do to redefine success in a way that actually serves us.

What Is Hustle Culture?

Hustle culture isn’t just about working hard—it’s about the toxic pressure to always be working. It’s the idea that slowing down means falling behind, and that if you’re not constantly producing, you’re wasting time.

After the pandemic, this mindset only intensified. Suddenly, it felt like everyone needed an LLC, a passive income stream, or a second job just to stay afloat. Social media made it seem like if you weren’t working multiple jobs or turning every hobby into a business, you were doing life wrong.

The problem? Hustle culture convinces us that we’ll only be happy after we reach a certain level of success. But in reality, there’s always another goal, another level, another reason to keep pushing.

The Hidden Toll of Always Being “On”

For years, I thought I was just being ambitious. But the truth is, I was running myself into the ground.

I would push myself so hard that eventually, my body would force me to stop—either through burnout, exhaustion, or getting sick. I would go through cycles of working nonstop, hitting a wall, and then barely functioning until I recovered, only to start the process all over again.

Hustle culture doesn’t just drain your energy—it takes a toll on your mental health, relationships, and physical well-being. It leads to chronic stress, anxiety, and even depression because we never feel like we’re doing enough. We tell ourselves, I’ll rest when I reach my goal, but by the time we get there, we’ve already moved the goalpost.

Breaking Free from the Hustle Mentality

If you’ve been caught in the cycle of do more, achieve more, be more, it’s time to take a step back. You don’t have to quit your ambitions, but you do need to redefine success in a way that doesn’t require sacrificing yourself in the process.

For me, that meant realizing that my worth isn’t tied to my productivity. Success isn’t just about accomplishments—it’s about creating a life that allows for both achievement and rest.

One shift that helped? Actually celebrating my wins instead of immediately moving to the next goal. I used to check off a milestone and think, Okay, what’s next? without even pausing to acknowledge what I had just accomplished. Learning to take a moment to appreciate my progress made a huge difference.

Another thing I had to work on was giving myself permission to rest. Not because I was completely burned out, but because rest is necessary. Hustle culture makes us feel like we have to earn rest, but the reality is, rest should be a regular part of our lives—not just something we do when we have nothing left to give.

And finally, I had to remind myself that comparison is the thief of joy. Watching people online who seem to have it all together can make you feel like you’re behind, but the truth is, we’re all moving at our own pace. Success looks different for everyone, and what matters most is what feels fulfilling to you.

Finding a Healthier Balance

Hustle culture tells us that if we’re not working, we’re failing. But real success isn’t about how busy you are—it’s about building a life that actually feels good to live.

Take a moment to ask yourself:

• What does success really mean to me?
• What goals am I working toward—and why?
• How can I build in more intentional rest without feeling guilty?

If you’ve been running on empty, this is your sign to slow down. Hustling isn’t the goal—creating a fulfilling life is.

What will your next step be?

Take a moment to reflect—how has hustle culture impacted you? Are you giving yourself the space to rest and recharge, or are you stuck in the cycle of doing more, achieving more, and never feeling like it’s enough?

Share your thoughts or a goal for creating more balance in the comments below. Let’s hold each other accountable and commit to building a life that includes both ambition and rest—because success shouldn’t come at the cost of our well-being.
______________________________________________________________________

Thank you for stepping into this space with me. Remember, breaking free from hustle culture takes intention, self-awareness, and the courage to slow down. I’m here with you every step of the way. Let’s start the conversation.

And if you haven’t already, be sure to check out this week’s podcast episode for an even deeper dive into this conversation:

🎧 Watch now: Side Effects of Hustle Culture

Let’s stop glorifying burnout and start embracing balance.

In our fast-paced, often isolating world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to handle everything on our own. Yet, as I’ve learned firsthand, we are not built to do life by ourselves. Whether it’s through family, friends, or community connections, having a reliable support system is not only natural—it’s essential.

Why a Support System Matters

Our human DNA is wired for connection. We thrive when we’re surrounded by people who care, listen, and show up for us. In a recent conversation on my podcast, I reflected on a time when I was sick and chose not to reach out for help. I believed that keeping my struggles to myself would protect others from worry. But in doing so, I missed out on the chance to experience genuine care. My Texas mom, for example, gently reminded me, “Let me decide how I want to show up for you,” highlighting that sometimes, we need to allow others the opportunity to be there for us.

My Personal Journey

For a long time, I struggled with building a solid support system. Growing up, I didn’t always feel connected to my parents or siblings, and I fell into the familiar role of the helper—always listening but rarely sharing my own vulnerabilities. It wasn’t until I faced challenging life events, like going through a divorce and experiencing illness, that I recognized something important: if I don’t lean on others, I’m doing life alone, and that isn’t sustainable.

When I was under the weather recently, I reached out to just one friend instead of sharing my struggle with my family. The aftermath was eye-opening. Both my family and friends questioned why I hadn’t let them in, which made me realize that being open and asking for help is not a burden to those who love you—it’s an opportunity for connection.

Embracing Vulnerability

One of the most challenging parts of building a support system is opening up. Vulnerability is the cornerstone of deep, meaningful relationships. I learned that to truly receive support, I needed to allow myself to be seen—not just as the strong, independent person, but as someone who also needs care. By sharing my feelings and experiences, I began to repair and strengthen relationships that once felt distant.

It wasn’t an overnight transformation. It took hard conversations, a willingness to face discomfort, and a conscious decision to let people in. But every small step, from a long phone call with my mom to opening up with my sorority sisters, helped me build a network where trust and mutual support could flourish.

Practical Steps to Build Your Support System

If you feel that your current support system isn’t enough or doesn’t exist, know that it’s never too late to start building one. Here are some actionable steps that helped me, and might help you, cultivate a more connected and supportive network:

1. Reflect on Your Circle:
   Take a moment to think about the people already in your life. Who are they? What roles do they play? It might be a parent, a friend from high school, or even a co-worker. Ask yourself if these relationships are meeting your emotional needs.
2. Be Intentional About Connection:
   Instead of waiting for support to come to you, actively reach out. This might mean setting aside time to call a loved one, inviting a friend for coffee, or simply sending a message to check in. Your support system won’t build itself—it requires effort and intentionality.
3. Utilize Your Communities:
   Leverage the groups you’re already a part of. Whether it’s a sorority, a church group, or an online community like a Facebook group or even a dedicated friend-finding app like Bumble BFF, these communities offer a built-in network of potential connections with shared interests.
4. Accept That It Takes Time:
   Building trust and deep relationships doesn’t happen overnight. Start by sharing small pieces of yourself and see how others respond. Over time, these small acts of vulnerability can lead to more significant and fulfilling connections.
5. Set Realistic Expectations:
   Understand that no one person will fulfill every emotional need. A robust support system often includes different people for different types of support—some who are great for everyday fun, and others who can help you through life’s toughest moments.

Moving Forward Together

Life can be challenging, and it’s important to remember that reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness—it’s a courageous step toward healing and growth. I invite you to reflect on your own support system. Who are the people in your life who you can lean on? If you feel that there’s room for improvement, challenge yourself to take one small step today. Whether it’s rekindling an old friendship or joining a new group, know that you have the power to build the network you deserve.

What will your next step be?
Share your thoughts or a goal for strengthening your support system in the comments below. Let’s hold each other accountable and grow together—because none of us are meant to do life alone.

Thank you for being here. Let’s start the conversation.

Thank you for stepping into this space with me. Remember, building a support system takes work, vulnerability, and the willingness to let others in. I’m here with you every step of the way.

💬 Let’s Connect! Share your thoughts in the comments or let me know what topics you’d like to discuss. And don’t forget to subscribe to This Therapist Has Problems on your YouTube!

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