Rest Before You Crash

By M.B.S. Whole Health | September 10, 2026 | Comments 0 Comment

There is a version of self-care that looks beautiful online. It is quiet mornings, spa appointments, candles, retreats, and perfectly arranged routines. Those things can feel good, and there is nothing wrong with enjoying them. But if that is the only picture we have of self-care, many women will continue believing they do not have enough time or money to take care of themselves.

The truth is that self-care often looks much less polished.

It can look like drinking water before the headache starts. Going to the bathroom instead of waiting until you finish one more task. Eating when your body tells you it is hungry. Taking a ten-minute walk. Letting the dishes sit. Telling your children, your coworkers, or the people you love, “I need a few minutes.”

In Rest Before You Crash, an episode of This Therapist Has Problems, I sat down with Angel Theodore, Founder and Self-Care Catalyst of My Self-Care Catalyst LLC, to talk about what it means to care for yourself before your body has to demand your attention.

Sometimes Your Body Says It First

Angel’s work grew out of her own experience with burnout. In 2019, after years of going, doing, serving, helping, and overextending herself, she reached a point where her body shut down. She fainted and later had repeated visits for stress-related health concerns.

Looking back, she can now recognize the signs: feeling as though she had been hit by a truck, aching, getting sick often, and becoming more irritable. Accepting that she was stressed was not the hardest part. The harder part was accepting that she did not have to be doing something every moment.

That is a struggle many high-achieving women understand. When productivity becomes part of your identity, rest can feel lazy. When you are the person who usually handles everything, leaving something undone can feel unsafe. You may tell yourself, “If I do not do it, no one will.” Sometimes that may even be true, but it does not mean your body can indefinitely absorb the cost.

There is a point when “pushing through” stops being resilience and starts becoming disconnection from yourself.

Self-Care Is Not Another Performance

Self-care has become a phrase we use for almost everything. But a label does not automatically make an activity restorative.

If your self-care routine becomes another complicated standard you must meet, another purchase you feel pressured to make, or another area where you believe you are failing, it may create more pressure than relief.

Angel encourages women to begin with micro-habits, small actions that can realistically become part of everyday life. If a full workout is not possible, can you walk for ten minutes? If you cannot change your entire routine, can you replace one drink with water? If you are depleted, can you pause for ten minutes before forcing yourself through the next task?

Small does not mean insignificant. It often means sustainable.

The goal is not to build a picture-perfect wellness routine overnight. The goal is to rebuild trust with yourself by noticing what you need and responding consistently.

Rest Does Not Have to Produce Anything

One of the parts of our conversation that felt especially important was the reminder that not everything you enjoy has to become a business.

We live in a culture that can turn almost any interest into a side hustle. If you enjoy art, someone asks whether you will sell it. If you are good at doing nails, someone asks whether you will take clients. If you love gardening, someone wants to know when you are starting a business.

Some gifts may become meaningful work. Some interests may be connected to purpose. And some things are allowed to be yours simply because they bring you joy.

You are allowed to rest for the sake of resting. You are allowed to have fun without making it productive. You are allowed to receive something good before deciding how you will give it away.

That is not a lack of ambition. It is a recognition that you are a person, not an endless source of output.

The Guilt That Keeps Women Overextended

For many women, and especially mothers, self-care brings up guilt. There can be a deeply rooted belief that being loving means being immediately available. But asking someone to wait a few minutes is not abandonment. Saying no is not a failure to nurture. Allowing others to participate, help, or practice patience does not make you less caring.

When children see their mother name a need, set a boundary, and care for herself, they also learn that people have limits. They learn patience, shared responsibility, and what it looks like to respect another person’s humanity.

Taking care of yourself is not only about becoming more pleasant or productive for everyone else. You deserve care because you are a person with a body, a mind, emotions, and needs. Full stop.

What Is Your Body Asking For?

You do not have to overhaul your life today. Start by becoming curious.

Am I hungry, thirsty, tired, overstimulated, lonely, or in pain?
What have I been postponing because something or someone else always feels more urgent?
What is one small response I can give myself in the next ten minutes?
Where have I confused rest with laziness?
What do I enjoy that does not need to become useful, profitable, or impressive?

Self-care is not a reward you receive after everything is finished. Everything may never be finished. Self-care is part of how you remain connected to yourself while living a full life.

Meet Angel Theodore

Angel Theodore is a speaker, author, Certified & Trauma-Informed Life Coach, and the Founder of My Self-Care Catalyst. She is building a global movement where women feel supported in being authentically themselves. After speaking with hundreds of women and navigating her own burnout in 2019, Angel began providing practical strategies for healing, self-love, and sustainable well-being. Her work has been featured in USA Today, Shoutout DFW, and Business Innovator.

Angel’s Self-Care Elite Circle™ is a transformational group-coaching experience designed to help women move beyond knowing they need self-care and actually make it a sustainable part of their lives. Through coaching, accountability, community, and intentional practices, members are supported as they stop putting themselves last and build a lifestyle that supports who they are becoming.

Connect with Angel:

Website: https://myselfcarecatalyst.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/myselfcarecatalyst/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/myselfcarecatalyst/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@myselfcarecatalyst

Angel also shared that My Self-Care Catalyst is expanding in the Dallas–Fort Worth area. Follow her platforms for current announcements and event details.

Resources and Support

Mentioned in the episode

StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath: A book and assessment discussed as a tool for identifying natural strengths. Current assessment information is available through Gallup CliftonStrengths: https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/
My Self-Care Catalyst: Coaching, community, journals, courses, and information about the Self-Care Elite Circle™: https://myselfcarecatalyst.com/

Additional support

M.B.S. Whole Health: Counseling and coaching services: https://mbswholehealth.com/
If ongoing exhaustion, pain, sleep changes, fainting, frequent illness, or other physical symptoms are concerning you, speak with a qualified medical professional. Stress can affect well-being, but new or worsening symptoms deserve individualized evaluation rather than self-diagnosis.

Educational disclaimer: This article and podcast are for educational and informational purposes only. They do not create a therapist-client relationship and are not a substitute for individualized mental-health or medical care. Coaching and psychotherapy are distinct services. Contact an appropriate licensed professional with questions about your health or treatment needs.

When Burnout Becomes Your Baseline: How to Come Back to Yourself

By M.B.S. Whole Health | September 3, 2026 | Comments 0 Comment

Burnout can be tricky because it does not always announce itself by making you fall apart.

Sometimes burnout looks like waking up, going to work, taking care of your family, meeting deadlines, answering messages, and continuing to be the person everyone can count on. From the outside, you may still look capable and productive. Inside, you may feel tired in a way that sleep does not fix, more irritable than usual, disconnected from the things you once enjoyed, or simply unlike yourself.

That is the kind of burnout we discussed during my conversation with Michelle Scolaro, LMHC, on This Therapist Has Problems.

Michelle is a licensed therapist, transformational coach, retreat leader, and the founder of Created Life Consulting. Her work helps women move through burnout, self-abandonment, relationship challenges, and the difficult process of reconnecting with themselves. What made this conversation especially real is that Michelle did not approach burnout only as a professional. She has lived it.

When your body says, “Be still”

Michelle described a season when she was newly divorced, working full time, raising her child, and participating in an intensive leadership and coaching program. She was doing all the things—and then her body forced her to stop.

After suddenly experiencing severe vertigo and ending up in the hospital, a friend asked her a powerful question: If your body could speak right now, what would it say?

Her answer was simple: Be still.

That moment stayed with me because so many of us wait until our bodies become loud before we listen. We ignore the tension, headaches, fatigue, irritability, dread, and emotional numbness because there is still work to do. We tell ourselves we should be able to handle it. We keep pushing until pausing is no longer a choice.

The goal is not to diagnose every difficult day as burnout. The goal is to notice patterns before we reach the point where we cannot function.

Burnout is more than being tired

Michelle explained that burnout can exist on a continuum. It may begin with fatigue and gradually progress toward a much deeper sense of depletion and disconnection.

Some warning signs discussed in the episode include:

Fatigue that does not improve with rest
Muscle tension or headaches
Increased irritability
Loss of motivation, joy, or enthusiasm
Dread about getting out of bed or beginning the day
Feeling emotionally numb
Resentment toward responsibilities or people you care about
Feeling disconnected from yourself
Thinking, “I do not feel like me anymore”

That last sign is especially important. Michelle shared a moment when she saw her own reflection and, for a second, did not recognize herself. It led her to ask, “Who am I? What am I doing? What is this all for?”

You can be functioning and still be far away from yourself.

When self-care becomes one more thing to fail at

One of the biggest misconceptions about burnout is that it is simply a time-management problem. If you could organize your schedule better, take more breaks, get a massage, or plan a vacation, maybe everything would be fine.

Those things can feel good, but they do not automatically change the structure or beliefs that keep pulling you back into depletion.

In fact, when you are already burned out, self-care can become one more demand. Now you have to walk, meditate, journal, exercise, drink enough water, and complete a morning routine perfectly. The practices meant to support you become more boxes to check—and more opportunities to feel like you are failing.

If burnout has become your baseline, the answer is not just finding occasional pockets of escape. It is looking honestly at the routines, expectations, relationships, and beliefs that keep you “on” all the time.

Rest guilt did not come from nowhere

Most of us already understand that we need rest. The harder question is why we do not consistently allow ourselves to have it.

Michelle connected this struggle to the messages many of us received early in life. Think about asking to play as a child and hearing, “Is your homework done? Is your room clean?” The lesson becomes: Work comes first. Rest, play, and pleasure are rewards you receive only after everything else is complete.

The problem is that adulthood rarely offers a moment when everything is complete. There will almost always be another dish, email, task, bill, or person who needs something.

If we keep waiting until everything is done, rest will continue to be postponed.

Self-care starts with the relationship you have with yourself. It requires believing that you are worthy of care before you finish the list—not because you completed it.

Small practices can rebuild self-trust

Coming back to yourself does not require changing your entire life overnight. It can begin with one small practice that honors you.

Michelle recommends connecting that practice to something you already do. Her example was turning her daily coffee into a meditative pour-over ritual. Because coffee was already part of her morning, the new practice was easier to repeat.

Your practice may look different. It could be:

Taking three slow breaths before opening your laptop
Asking yourself what you need while the shower warms up
Sitting quietly for five minutes after school drop-off
Stepping outside before answering the next message
Eating lunch away from your desk
Scheduling one hour each week that is only for you

The point is not perfection. If the practice falls away, you can return to it. Missing a day does not mean it failed. It simply means you begin again.

Every time you notice what you need and respond with an aligned choice, you strengthen trust with yourself.

You are not broken—you may need to hear yourself again

Michelle offered one of the most important reminders of the episode: If you feel exhausted, resentful, disconnected, or unlike yourself, it does not mean there is something wrong with you. Something within you may be asking to be heard.

You do not have to lose yourself to be successful. You do not have to disappear in order to be loved, needed, or valuable. You can care for other people without abandoning yourself. You can choose when to place someone else’s needs first without making self-sacrifice your permanent way of life.

And you can ask for help before you reach a breaking point.

Therapy does not have to be reserved for the moment when everything falls apart. As Michelle noted, choosing one hour that is focused on you can be an important first step. That protected hour may create a ripple effect that helps you make other meaningful changes.

Coming back to yourself will not happen perfectly or all at once. It can happen one pause, one honest question, and one aligned choice at a time.

So, here is the question I want to leave with you:

What has your body been trying to tell you before it has to force you to listen?to listen?

Watch the full episode here

About Michelle Scolaro

Michelle Scolaro, LMHC, is a licensed therapist, transformational coach, retreat leader, and founder of Created Life Consulting. With more than 20 years in the mental health field, she supports women navigating burnout, self-doubt, perfectionism, relationship concerns, grief, and disconnection from self. She also leads Thrive in Paradise transformational retreats.

Learn more about Michelle’s work: https://createdlifeconsulting.com/
Join the interest list for a future Thrive in Paradise retreat: https://thriveinparadise.com/

Please note: This article and episode are educational and are not a substitute for individualized medical or mental health care. Physical and emotional symptoms can have multiple causes. Seek an appropriate licensed professional for assessment and support.

_________________

Resources and Support

M.B.S. Whole Health: Therapy, coaching, and mental wellness resources — https://mbswholehealth.com/
FindTreatment.gov: Search for mental health and substance use treatment providers in the United States — https://findtreatment.gov/
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org/ for free, confidential emotional support in the United States, 24/7. If there is immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.

Clinical language note

This episode uses burnout in the common, everyday sense to discuss chronic depletion across work, caregiving, relationships, and other responsibilities. The World Health Organization’s ICD-11 classification uses the term specifically for chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed and classifies it as an occupational phenomenon rather than a medical condition.

Who Helps the Helpers? Mental Health, Motherhood & Purpose After Pain 🎙️

By M.B.S. Whole Health | August 4, 2026 | Comments 0 Comment

When the encourager needs encouragement too

For my very first guest on This Therapist Has Problems Podcast, I sat down with TarNeisha A. Mukoko for a conversation that felt like the perfect way to begin bringing other voices into this space.

TarNeisha is the Founder and CEO of Life With TarNeisha, LLC. She is a life and mental health coach, full-spectrum doula, minister, educator, speaker, community leader, and mother. She is also someone who understands what it means to keep showing up for other people while navigating her own very human experiences.

We talked about divorce, career transitions, motherhood, faith, her bipolar depression diagnosis, and the fear that needing help might cause people to question her ability to help them.

That fear is real for many people in helping roles. We are expected to know what to do, remain emotionally available, and somehow keep every part of our own lives together. But credentials do not remove our humanity. A calling does not make us immune to pain. Being the strong person does not mean we never need somewhere safe to fall apart.

As TarNeisha said during our conversation, “The encourager needs to be encouraged too.”

Who takes care of the strong one? 🤎

Some people become the person everyone calls.

You are the listener. The problem-solver. The one who remembers what everyone needs. The one who encourages, organizes, prays, checks in, and finds a way to keep things moving.

People may see your strength without recognizing what it costs you to maintain it.

TarNeisha described the weight of thinking for her home, her business, her son, the people she serves, and herself. At one point, she said she sometimes gets tired of having to think for herself because she is already carrying so many other responsibilities.

That is a feeling many women, mothers, caregivers, therapists, coaches, ministers, and community leaders understand. You can love what you do and still feel tired. You can be passionate about serving others and still need someone to ask, “What do you need?”

Those two truths can exist at the same time.

A diagnosis does not erase your calling 🧠

TarNeisha spoke openly about being diagnosed with bipolar depression and beginning medication and psychiatric care. She also shared the internal battle that followed.

Would people think she was incapable? Would they question whether she could still support others? Would the diagnosis become a stain that overshadowed her experience, training, faith, and purpose?

This is one of the reasons mental health stigma can be so damaging. A diagnosis may help explain what someone has been experiencing and guide them toward appropriate support. It does not erase their wisdom, gifts, professional abilities, or humanity.

People in helping professions are not required to be untouched by life before they can help someone else.

As I shared during our conversation, life be lifing over here too. I am a licensed therapist, but I still experience pain, disappointment, grief, stress, and seasons when I need support. Being trained to help people navigate difficult experiences does not mean I will never have difficult experiences of my own.

Sometimes our lived experiences allow us to sit with people differently. They can deepen our compassion and remind us that healing is not a straight line or a performance.

Faith and professional mental health care can coexist 🙏🏾

Faith was woven throughout our conversation because it is central to how TarNeisha understands her life and purpose. She spoke about prayer, obedience, spiritual guidance, and trusting God through seasons she did not fully understand.

She also spoke clearly about taking medication, seeing a therapist, working with a psychiatrist, and leaning on trusted people for support.

That matters.

In many faith communities, people still feel pressure to choose between prayer and professional mental health care. But receiving treatment does not mean someone lacks faith. Therapy, psychiatric care, medication, community, and spiritual support can each play a role in a person’s wellness.

Seeking help is not a rejection of faith. For many people, it is one of the ways they begin caring for the life they believe they were given.

Purpose after pain does not mean pretending the pain was good 🌱

TarNeisha did not begin her career expecting to become a life and mental health coach or a doula. She spent years working in education and once believed becoming a principal would be her next step.

Then life shifted.

Divorce, single motherhood, mental health challenges, and changing priorities caused her to reconsider what she wanted and what she could realistically carry during that season. She pursued life-coach certification, built Life With TarNeisha, later became a mental health coach, and accepted a scholarship opportunity to train as a full-spectrum doula.

Her journey is a reminder that purpose does not always arrive in a straight line. Sometimes it grows through a pivot. Sometimes it begins with an opportunity you do not completely understand. Sometimes it requires saying yes before you can see the full picture.

Purpose after pain does not require us to call every painful experience good. It means we are allowed to decide that pain will not have the final word. We can allow what we have lived through to deepen our understanding, redirect our choices, and help us create something meaningful.

Maternal mental health means caring for the mother too 💛

One of the most important parts of our conversation focused on TarNeisha’s work as a doula and the need to support the person who gave birth, not only the baby.

After a baby arrives, attention quickly shifts toward feeding schedules, sleep, diapers, appointments, and whether the baby is doing well. Meanwhile, the mother may be recovering physically, experiencing major emotional and hormonal changes, functioning with very little sleep, and trying to adjust to an entirely different life.

Who is checking on her?

Who is asking how she feels instead of only asking about the baby?

Who is making sure she can rest, eat, shower, attend appointments, and say honestly when she is not okay?

TarNeisha explained that doula support can look different for every family. It may include emotional support, helping someone identify what they need, watching the baby while a mother sleeps, picking up groceries, preparing food, or connecting the family with additional resources.

This kind of practical care matters because mental health does not exist separately from the rest of life.

Some emotional changes can occur during pregnancy and after birth. However, symptoms that persist, intensify, disrupt daily functioning, or create concerns about safety deserve professional assessment and support. They should not be dismissed as someone being dramatic or as “just hormones.”

Fathers and partners need support too 👥

TarNeisha also reminded us that fathers and partners can struggle during the postpartum period.

They may be supporting a recovering mother, caring for a newborn, managing other children, handling household responsibilities, worrying about finances, and trying to understand how to help while adjusting to parenthood themselves.

Who is checking on them?

Supporting maternal mental health does not mean ignoring everyone else in the family. It means recognizing that the well-being of parents, babies, and families is connected. Fathers and partners deserve accurate information, emotional support, and room to acknowledge when they are overwhelmed too.

Change requires support and personal ownership ✨

One of TarNeisha’s guiding statements is, “In order for your circumstances to change, you must first change.”

That does not mean blaming ourselves for everything that has happened to us. Trauma is real. Loss is real. Inequity is real. Other people’s choices can cause real harm.

Personal ownership means recognizing what is within our control now.

We may not be responsible for the wound, but we can decide what support we need to begin healing it. We can examine our patterns, challenge the stories we have accepted about ourselves, set boundaries, seek treatment, change our environment, and make different choices moving forward.

Support and accountability are not opposites. Often, the right support helps us take responsibility without turning that responsibility into shame.

A reminder for the helpers who are tired 🤎

If you are the person everyone depends on, I hope this conversation reminds you of a few things:

You are allowed to need support.

You are allowed to take medication when it is part of your treatment plan.

You are allowed to have a therapist, psychiatrist, mentor, spiritual leader, support group, or trusted community.

You are allowed to rest before you completely burn out.

You are allowed to be skilled, called, knowledgeable, and still human.

Needing help does not disqualify you from helping others. It may be the very thing that allows you to continue doing the work without losing yourself in it.

The encourager needs encouragement too.

Watch the full episode 🎧

In this episode of This Therapist Has Problems Podcast, TarNeisha and I talk more about mental health stigma, motherhood, faith, career transitions, doula support, and finding purpose after pain.

Thank you for stepping into my office and making room for honest conversations about mental health and being human.

Watch the full episode on YouTube: Who Helps the Helpers? Mental Health, Motherhood & Purpose After Pain

Connect with TarNeisha

Website: Life With TarNeisha
Instagram: @lifewithtarneisha
Facebook: Life With TarNeisha
LinkedIn: TarNeisha A. Mukoko

Resources and support 🤍

If this episode brings something up for you, please know that you do not have to work through it alone. Use the resource that feels most appropriate for what you need right now.

Information about bipolar disorder:
The National Institute of Mental Health provides educational information about bipolar disorder, symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment. A qualified mental health professional can provide an individualized evaluation and treatment recommendations.

Maternal mental health support:
The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline offers free, confidential support 24 hours a day for pregnant people, new parents, and their families. Call or text 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262).

Perinatal and postpartum resources:
Postpartum Support International provides information, support, and connections to local resources. Call 1-800-944-4773, press 1 for Spanish or 2 for English, or text HELP to 800-944-4773 in English. The PSI HelpLine is not an emergency or crisis line.

Support for fathers and partners:
Postpartum Support International also provides information and support resources for dads.

Black maternal mental health support:
The Shades of Blue Project offers culturally responsive maternal mental health advocacy, community resources, and support groups for women of color before, during, and after childbirth.

Therapy and coaching through M.B.S Whole Health:
To learn more about available mental health and coaching services, contact M.B.S Whole Health.

Immediate emotional crisis support:
If you are experiencing emotional distress, thoughts of suicide, or feel unsafe, call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.

You deserve care, support, and a space where you do not have to be the strong one every moment of every day.

Disclaimer

This blog and podcast episode are intended for informational and educational purposes only. The content is not a substitute for professional mental health care, therapy, diagnosis, treatment, or medical advice and does not establish a therapeutic relationship. The experiences discussed are personal and may not reflect every person’s experience with bipolar disorder, pregnancy, postpartum mental health, or treatment. Please contact a qualified mental health or medical professional for personalized support. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.

Dusting Off the Microphone: What the Silence Held 🎙️

By M.B.S. Whole Health | July 17, 2026 | Comments 0 Comment

The Truth About Silent Grief After Pregnancy Loss

It has been forever since I posted an episode of This Therapist Has Problems Podcast.

For months, I thought about how I would come back. Do I just press record and move forward like nothing happened? Do I jump into the next topic? Do I avoid the personal update and keep it professional?

But if you have been here before, you already know this podcast was not created for surface-level conversations. This space was created for honesty, transparency, and real conversations about the things we often carry in silence. 🤍

So as I launch Season 2, I am dusting off the microphone and sharing what the silence held.

The vulnerability hangover is real 🫣

I will be honest. This episode felt vulnerable in a way I did not fully expect.

There is a difference between sharing from a healed place and sharing while still feeling the tenderness of what happened. I had to sit with whether I was ready to say certain things out loud. I had to ask myself if sharing this story was necessary, helpful, or simply too much.

What I came back to is this: some stories are hard to tell because they are connected to the parts of us that are still healing.

And sometimes, even when it feels scary, telling the truth gives somebody else permission to stop carrying their pain alone.

What happened behind the silence 🌿

In this episode, I share a personal life update about an unexpected pregnancy after having my tubes tied, the concern for a possible ectopic pregnancy, repeated blood work, physical pain, fear, and ultimately the emotional weight of miscarriage.

This was not something I planned for. It was not something I expected. And it was not something I knew how to quickly process.

There was a lot happening at once. Medically, I was being told that the loss may have been the best-case scenario because of the risk connected to a possible ectopic pregnancy. Emotionally, there was nothing about it that felt simple, easy, or like good news.

That is the part I wanted to give language to.

Sometimes grief is complicated. Sometimes grief shows up even when the situation was not something you asked for, planned for, or thought you wanted. Sometimes your mind understands one thing while your heart, body, and spirit are trying to catch up.

Grief does not always come with condolences 🕊️

One of the thoughts that stayed with me is that sometimes grief does not come with condolences.

Not because people do not care, but because they may not know what to say. They may not understand why something hurts as deeply as it does. They may be focused on the medical outcome, the practical details, or the fact that things could have been worse.

But grief does not need permission to be real.

You do not have to justify why something hurt you. You do not have to prove your loss was big enough. You do not have to explain why you are grieving something that was unexpected.

If it mattered to you, it matters. 🤍

Why this conversation matters right now ✨

This episode is also being released during National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month and in recognition of Black Maternal Mental Health Week, observed July 19 through July 25.

That timing matters.

So many Black women and women of color are carrying reproductive grief, pregnancy loss, medical trauma, fear, confusion, and silent pain while still being expected to function, work, care for others, and keep going.

We are often praised for being strong, but strength does not mean we are not hurting.

Strength does not mean we do not need support.

Strength does not mean we should have to process grief in silence.

This conversation is not just about my story. It is also about creating space for the stories that often go untold.

Listening to your body matters 💛

One of the biggest reminders from this experience was the importance of listening to my body.

I knew something was off before I had answers. I could feel that something was not right. And because I listened, I was able to get medical attention before things became more dangerous.

I want to be clear that this episode is not medical advice. But it is a reminder to pay attention to your body, ask questions, advocate for yourself, and keep pushing when something does not feel right.

Your body matters.

Your concerns matter.

Your questions matter.

Healing does not mean pretending it did not happen 🌱

Healing did not mean I stopped feeling anything. Healing did not mean I was suddenly okay. Healing did not mean I could check grief off a list and move on.

Healing looked like resting when I wanted to keep pushing.

It looked like crying when I needed to cry.

It looked like allowing myself to be human, even as a therapist.

It looked like giving myself permission to not have all the answers.

And slowly, the grief did not feel the same way it felt in the beginning. It was still real, but it was not as heavy every single day.

That is what healing can do. It may not erase what happened, but it can teach you how to carry it with more gentleness.

A reminder for anyone holding silent pain 🤎

If you have been carrying something quietly, I hope this episode reminds you that you are not alone.

Your story matters.

Your body matters.

Your grief deserves space.

Even if it happened years ago.

Even if other people did not understand.

Even if you minimized it because you thought you had to be strong.

Even if you never gave yourself permission to call it grief.

It is not too late to acknowledge what happened, honor what you lost, and make room for your own healing.

Watch the full episode 🎧

Season 2 of This Therapist Has Problems Podcast begins with honesty, vulnerability, and a reminder that therapists are human too.

Thank you for stepping back into my office.

Watch the full episode on YouTube: Dusting Off the Microphone: What the Silence Held

Resources and support 🤍

If this episode brings something up for you, please know that you do not have to process it alone. Whether your experience is recent or something you have carried quietly for years, support is available.

Pregnancy loss and grief support:
Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support offers support for those impacted by pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or infant loss, including help finding support by state.

Miscarriage, loss, and grief education:
March of Dimes has resources for miscarriage, pregnancy loss, grief, and finding comfort after loss.

Maternal mental health support:
The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline provides free, confidential, 24/7 support for pregnant and postpartum individuals and their families. Call or text 1-833-TLC-MAMA.

Perinatal mental health and support groups:
Postpartum Support International offers a HelpLine, online support groups, and resources for pregnancy, postpartum, pregnancy loss, and pregnancy after loss.

Black maternal mental health support:
The Shades of Blue Project focuses on maternal mental health support for women of color and minority communities, including Black Maternal Mental Health awareness and resources.

Black maternal health advocacy and education:
Black Mamas Matter Alliance centers Black mamas and birthing people through advocacy, research, education, and Black maternal health resources.

Immediate emotional crisis support:
If you are in emotional distress, experiencing thoughts of suicide, or feel unsafe, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room.

Please use the resources that feel most supportive for where you are right now. You deserve care, support, and space to heal.

Disclaimer

This blog and podcast episode are intended for informational and educational purposes only. The content provided is not a substitute for professional mental health care, therapy, or medical advice and does not establish a therapeutic relationship. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency, please call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. Please reach out to a licensed mental health or medical professional in your area for personalized support and guidance.