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Rest Before You Crash

By M.B.S. Whole Health | September 10, 2026 | Comments 0 Comment

There is a version of self-care that looks beautiful online. It is quiet mornings, spa appointments, candles, retreats, and perfectly arranged routines. Those things can feel good, and there is nothing wrong with enjoying them. But if that is the only picture we have of self-care, many women will continue believing they do not have enough time or money to take care of themselves.

The truth is that self-care often looks much less polished.

It can look like drinking water before the headache starts. Going to the bathroom instead of waiting until you finish one more task. Eating when your body tells you it is hungry. Taking a ten-minute walk. Letting the dishes sit. Telling your children, your coworkers, or the people you love, “I need a few minutes.”

In Rest Before You Crash, an episode of This Therapist Has Problems, I sat down with Angel Theodore, Founder and Self-Care Catalyst of My Self-Care Catalyst LLC, to talk about what it means to care for yourself before your body has to demand your attention.

Sometimes Your Body Says It First

Angel’s work grew out of her own experience with burnout. In 2019, after years of going, doing, serving, helping, and overextending herself, she reached a point where her body shut down. She fainted and later had repeated visits for stress-related health concerns.

Looking back, she can now recognize the signs: feeling as though she had been hit by a truck, aching, getting sick often, and becoming more irritable. Accepting that she was stressed was not the hardest part. The harder part was accepting that she did not have to be doing something every moment.

That is a struggle many high-achieving women understand. When productivity becomes part of your identity, rest can feel lazy. When you are the person who usually handles everything, leaving something undone can feel unsafe. You may tell yourself, “If I do not do it, no one will.” Sometimes that may even be true, but it does not mean your body can indefinitely absorb the cost.

There is a point when “pushing through” stops being resilience and starts becoming disconnection from yourself.

Self-Care Is Not Another Performance

Self-care has become a phrase we use for almost everything. But a label does not automatically make an activity restorative.

If your self-care routine becomes another complicated standard you must meet, another purchase you feel pressured to make, or another area where you believe you are failing, it may create more pressure than relief.

Angel encourages women to begin with micro-habits, small actions that can realistically become part of everyday life. If a full workout is not possible, can you walk for ten minutes? If you cannot change your entire routine, can you replace one drink with water? If you are depleted, can you pause for ten minutes before forcing yourself through the next task?

Small does not mean insignificant. It often means sustainable.

The goal is not to build a picture-perfect wellness routine overnight. The goal is to rebuild trust with yourself by noticing what you need and responding consistently.

Rest Does Not Have to Produce Anything

One of the parts of our conversation that felt especially important was the reminder that not everything you enjoy has to become a business.

We live in a culture that can turn almost any interest into a side hustle. If you enjoy art, someone asks whether you will sell it. If you are good at doing nails, someone asks whether you will take clients. If you love gardening, someone wants to know when you are starting a business.

Some gifts may become meaningful work. Some interests may be connected to purpose. And some things are allowed to be yours simply because they bring you joy.

You are allowed to rest for the sake of resting. You are allowed to have fun without making it productive. You are allowed to receive something good before deciding how you will give it away.

That is not a lack of ambition. It is a recognition that you are a person, not an endless source of output.

The Guilt That Keeps Women Overextended

For many women, and especially mothers, self-care brings up guilt. There can be a deeply rooted belief that being loving means being immediately available. But asking someone to wait a few minutes is not abandonment. Saying no is not a failure to nurture. Allowing others to participate, help, or practice patience does not make you less caring.

When children see their mother name a need, set a boundary, and care for herself, they also learn that people have limits. They learn patience, shared responsibility, and what it looks like to respect another person’s humanity.

Taking care of yourself is not only about becoming more pleasant or productive for everyone else. You deserve care because you are a person with a body, a mind, emotions, and needs. Full stop.

What Is Your Body Asking For?

You do not have to overhaul your life today. Start by becoming curious.

Am I hungry, thirsty, tired, overstimulated, lonely, or in pain?
What have I been postponing because something or someone else always feels more urgent?
What is one small response I can give myself in the next ten minutes?
Where have I confused rest with laziness?
What do I enjoy that does not need to become useful, profitable, or impressive?

Self-care is not a reward you receive after everything is finished. Everything may never be finished. Self-care is part of how you remain connected to yourself while living a full life.

Meet Angel Theodore

Angel Theodore is a speaker, author, Certified & Trauma-Informed Life Coach, and the Founder of My Self-Care Catalyst. She is building a global movement where women feel supported in being authentically themselves. After speaking with hundreds of women and navigating her own burnout in 2019, Angel began providing practical strategies for healing, self-love, and sustainable well-being. Her work has been featured in USA Today, Shoutout DFW, and Business Innovator.

Angel’s Self-Care Elite Circle™ is a transformational group-coaching experience designed to help women move beyond knowing they need self-care and actually make it a sustainable part of their lives. Through coaching, accountability, community, and intentional practices, members are supported as they stop putting themselves last and build a lifestyle that supports who they are becoming.

Connect with Angel:

Website: https://myselfcarecatalyst.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/myselfcarecatalyst/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/myselfcarecatalyst/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@myselfcarecatalyst

Angel also shared that My Self-Care Catalyst is expanding in the Dallas–Fort Worth area. Follow her platforms for current announcements and event details.

Resources and Support

Mentioned in the episode

StrengthsFinder 2.0 by Tom Rath: A book and assessment discussed as a tool for identifying natural strengths. Current assessment information is available through Gallup CliftonStrengths: https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/
My Self-Care Catalyst: Coaching, community, journals, courses, and information about the Self-Care Elite Circle™: https://myselfcarecatalyst.com/

Additional support

M.B.S. Whole Health: Counseling and coaching services: https://mbswholehealth.com/
If ongoing exhaustion, pain, sleep changes, fainting, frequent illness, or other physical symptoms are concerning you, speak with a qualified medical professional. Stress can affect well-being, but new or worsening symptoms deserve individualized evaluation rather than self-diagnosis.

Educational disclaimer: This article and podcast are for educational and informational purposes only. They do not create a therapist-client relationship and are not a substitute for individualized mental-health or medical care. Coaching and psychotherapy are distinct services. Contact an appropriate licensed professional with questions about your health or treatment needs.

Functional Depression: The Silent Heavy Burden So Many Are Carrying

By M.B.S. Whole Health | June 25, 2025 | Comments 0 Comment

We often associate depression with visible signs like crying, isolating, or struggling to get out of bed. But what if you’re still getting things done? Still working, still parenting, still showing up while silently breaking down inside? That’s the quiet reality of functional depression. It’s not always loud. It doesn’t always stop you in your tracks. Sometimes, it whispers in the background of your busy life, slowly wearing you down while the world keeps applauding your strength.

What Is Functional Depression?

Functional depression isn’t a clinical diagnosis you’ll find in the DSM-5. Instead, it’s a term used to describe people who live with persistent depressive symptoms while continuing to maintain daily responsibilities and routines. On the outside, everything looks fine. On the inside, there’s a constant emotional weight.

Often, this aligns with a diagnosis of Persistent Depressive Disorder (PDD), a low-grade, long-lasting form of depression that can linger for two years or more. People with functional depression may not feel deeply sad every day, but they often describe feeling emotionally flat, chronically tired, or simply “off.”

Signs You Might Be Experiencing Functional Depression

Functional depression hides behind productivity. You may be achieving, showing up for others, and even smiling through the day. But inside, you’re disconnected from joy and unsure why. Here are some common signs:

Chronic exhaustion, even after rest
Feeling emotionally numb or flat
Trouble experiencing joy even during good times
Being overly critical of yourself or struggling with self-worth
Difficulty focusing or finishing tasks
Pushing through without feeling truly present
Feeling overwhelmed by small things
Keeping busy to avoid emotional stillness

Why It’s Often Missed, Especially in High Performers

People with functional depression often appear to be doing well. They are praised for their productivity, resilience, or ability to juggle everything. But what others can’t see is the internal battle, a constant tension between appearing fine and feeling depleted.

This is especially true for Black women and other communities who carry cultural and generational expectations to be strong at all times. While resilience can be a strength, it can also become a mask that hides pain until it becomes unbearable.

The Emotional Toll of High-Functioning Pain

Living with functional depression can lead to:

Quiet burnout
Increased risk of anxiety or major depressive episodes
Relationship strain due to emotional disconnection
Physical symptoms like headaches, digestive issues, and sleep problems
Difficulty identifying and expressing personal needs

You don’t have to hit rock bottom to seek help. The earlier you name what you’re feeling, the sooner you can begin to heal.

Healing Starts with Awareness

Here are some supportive tools to begin the healing journey:

1. Therapy
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) are especially helpful in addressing negative thought patterns and reconnecting with emotional awareness. Therapy offers a judgment-free space to explore what’s really going on beneath the surface.

2. Medication
For some, antidepressants can be a helpful part of managing mood and rebalancing brain chemistry. Medication is not a weakness. It is a tool, just like therapy.

3. Rest and Recovery
This goes beyond sleep. Emotional rest means setting boundaries, stepping back from being “the strong one,” and allowing yourself space to not be okay.

4. Community
Supportive relationships and honest conversations can remind you that you’re not alone. You deserve connection, not isolation.

5. Self-Compassion
Speak to yourself the way you would a loved one. Being gentle with yourself in moments of struggle is not optional. It is necessary.

Just Because You’re Functioning Doesn’t Mean You’re Okay

We live in a culture that praises performance and productivity at the expense of mental health. But healing begins when we stop pretending and start checking in with ourselves.

You don’t have to carry the weight alone.
You don’t have to prove your worth through exhaustion.
You don’t have to keep pushing just because others expect you to.

Watch or Listen to the Full Episode

🎧 Podcast Title: Functional Depression | The Silent Heavy Burden
🖥️ Watch Now on YouTube: Click here to watch the full episode

Ready to Take the First Step?

If something in this resonated with you, please know you’re not alone and you’re not broken. Whether you’re seeking therapy, exploring self-help tools, or just starting to put language to what you’re feeling, this conversation is for you.

📍 Looking for a therapist in Texas? Reach out to me here to learn more or schedule a session.

📚 Outside of Texas? Explore Psychology Today or Open Path Collective to find support near you.

Need support now?
📞 Call or text 988 for immediate help through the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

If this blog resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who might need it. Let’s keep the conversation going.

Emotionally Burnt Out? It’s Okay to Say “I Don’t Have It Right Now”

By M.B.S. Whole Health | April 8, 2025 | Comments 0 Comment

Let’s be honest — we’re tired. And not the kind of tired a nap can fix. The emotional exhaustion is real, and it’s showing up in our bodies, our moods, our relationships, and our capacity to function. If that sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone.

In this week’s episode of This Therapist Has Problems Podcast, I opened up about what burnout looks like for me, as a therapist, a mother, a business owner, and a Black woman. And I know so many of you are navigating similar spaces, wearing multiple hats, and trying to keep all the pieces together while running on empty.

When You’ve Been Running on “E”

Burnout doesn’t always announce itself loudly. Sometimes it sneaks in as irritability, fatigue, disinterest in things you used to love, or even physical symptoms like headaches and tension. For me, it shows up in the middle of my packed schedule, right after school drop-offs, therapy sessions, family responsibilities, and administrative tasks, when all I can do is crash.

We’ve all heard the saying: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” But what happens when you’re still expected to keep showing up, even when your cup has been empty for days?

That’s the weight many of us carry. We’re the helpers, the problem-solvers, the strong friends. But even strong friends need rest.

Recognizing the Signs of Emotional Burnout

Burnout doesn’t just happen overnight. It builds. Slowly. And if we’re not careful, it can completely consume us.

Here are some signs to watch out for:

Emotional Exhaustion: You feel numb, on edge, or constantly irritated.
Physical Symptoms: Frequent illness, tension in your shoulders, headaches, and fatigue.
Resentment: You find yourself annoyed when people call or ask for help- not because you don’t care, but because you simply don’t have it to give.
Loss of Joy: The things that once brought peace now feel like one more thing on your to-do list.

If you’re checking even one of those boxes, pause. Breathe. You might be carrying too much.

Setting Boundaries Without Guilt

One of the hardest things for helpers and “strong friends” to do is say no especially without explaining or apologizing. But boundaries are necessary. They are a declaration that you matter too.

✅ No is a full sentence.
✅ You don’t owe anyone an explanation for prioritizing your peace.
✅ Taking time for yourself doesn’t make you selfish — it makes you sustainable.

Start by pausing before agreeing to help. Ask yourself:

Do I want to do this?
Do I have the energy or time?
Am I saying yes because I feel guilty?

If the answer feels like pressure, give yourself permission to say no.

Recharging Your Battery

Once you start setting boundaries, you might find yourself with more space emotionally and physically. Now what? This is where the real work begins: learning to refill your cup.

Here’s how:

Find your reset button — whether it’s time in nature, painting, journaling, or binge-watching your favorite show.
Communicate with your support system — don’t suffer in silence. Ask for help.
Schedule rest like it’s non-negotiable — because it is. Your rest deserves as much priority as any work deadline.
Make room for joy — not just survival. Call your friends just to laugh, not just to vent.

Friendship and support should be mutual, not just spaces for crisis. You deserve people in your life who fill you up, not just lean on you.

You Can’t Pour From a Depleted Cup

Here’s the truth: You deserve to rest without guilt. You deserve to unplug without explaining. You deserve to feel supported, not just needed.

This isn’t about abandoning people, it’s about not abandoning yourself. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, or emotionally stretched thin, let this be your reminder: it’s okay to take a breather.

💬 Drop a comment below:
What’s one way you plan to recharge this week? Whether it’s setting a boundary, saying no, or carving out alone time, let’s hold each other accountable.

🎧 Watch the full episode of the podcast here:
👉 https://youtu.be/EmdOAkT9FLU

Thank You for Stepping Into This Space With Me

Remember: emotional burnout is not weakness, it’s a signal. A call to pause. A moment to check in with yourself. Take it. You’re worth it.

Let’s stop glorifying overextending and start embracing balance.

You can contact a therapist, join a support group, or call a mental health hotline. There’s absolutely no shame in needing more support than you currently have.

📞 Call or text 988 to reach a trained crisis counselor 24/7.

If you’re looking for therapy resources, try:

If you’re in Texas and seeking a therapist, click here to request an appointment with me
Therapy for Black Girls
Psychology Today
Open Path Collective

#ThisTherapistHasProblemsPodcast, #MBSWholeHealth, #DFWTherapist, #FortWorthTherapist, #TexasTherapist, #KellerTherapist, #TTHPPodcast, #Counselor, #PodcastPremiere

When Life Feels Out of Control: Practicing Radical Acceptance

By M.B.S. Whole Health | March 25, 2025 | Comments 0 Comment

Let’s be honest, life has been a lot lately. Between unpredictable news cycles, social media overload, and real-life responsibilities, it can feel like we’re just trying to keep our heads above water. And for many of us, the more we try to stay informed and in control, the more overwhelmed we become.

In this post, we’re diving into how to care for your mental and emotional health when the world around you feels chaotic, and how practicing radical acceptance can help you regain some peace.

Life is Happening… Fast

Whether you’ve personally been affected by job loss, rising costs of living, or emotional burnout, or you’re just overwhelmed by the constant stream of bad news, you’re not alone. We’re all navigating a lot, and sometimes it feels like the ground is shifting beneath us.

I shared on the podcast a personal moment from the start of the pandemic when I lost my job unexpectedly while adjusting to life as a single mom. That season taught me what it really means to face uncertainty head-on and reminded me how important it is to focus on what is in our control when everything else feels out of it.

Let’s Talk About Radical Acceptance

Radical acceptance is the idea that we acknowledge reality as it is, not as we want it to be. It doesn’t mean you’re okay with what’s happening. It doesn’t mean you like it. It simply means you stop fighting against what you can’t change.

Instead of staying stuck in resistance (“This shouldn’t be happening”), radical acceptance says, “This is happening. Now how do I want to respond?”

It’s a mindset shift that helps reduce emotional suffering by letting go of the mental tug-of-war.

Signs You Might Need to Pause

If you’re:

Feeling tense or anxious while scrolling social media
Consuming back-to-back news stories until your body feels exhausted
Experiencing racing thoughts, emotional fatigue, or burnout

…it’s time to check in with yourself.

The constant intake of information, especially heavy or traumatic content, can wear down your nervous system. It’s okay to step away. Taking breaks from media, setting boundaries with your screen time, and curating your feed to include more uplifting or neutral content are all healthy ways to protect your peace.

Ground Yourself in the Present

When the world feels like it’s moving too fast, grounding techniques can help bring you back to the here and now. Some tools to try:

Pause and breathe. Intentional breathing slows your nervous system and clears mental clutter.
Progressive muscle relaxation. Tense and release muscle groups from your toes to your head.
5-4-3-2-1 mindfulness. Name 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste.

These practices aren’t about ignoring your problems. They’re about regulating your body so you can approach challenges with a clearer mind.

Mantras That Help Reframe the Moment

Sometimes, a simple phrase can remind us of what we do have control over. Try repeating:

“This is hard, but I can handle it.”
“I don’t have to like it to accept it.”
“I release what I can’t control.”

You can write these on sticky notes, save them as reminders, or say them aloud when you feel tension rising.

Support Systems Matter

Let me say this clearly: you do not have to carry everything alone.

Whether it’s a close friend, your therapist, or your group chat, leaning on your support system can be the pressure release you need when everything feels like too much. Sometimes, support also looks like choosing solitude to recharge. Just be sure you’re listening to what you need.

Know When to Reach for More Help

If the uncertainty starts to feel too heavy, if you’re struggling to function, feeling emotionally unsafe, or losing hope, it’s time to ask for help.

You can contact a therapist, join a support group, or call a mental health hotline. There’s absolutely no shame in needing more support than you currently have.

📞 Call or text 988 to reach a trained crisis counselor 24/7.

If you’re looking for therapy resources, try:

If you’re in Texas and seeking a therapist, click here to request an appointment with me
Therapy for Black Girls
Psychology Today
Open Path Collective

Thank You for Stepping Into This Space With Me

Remember, navigating uncertainty isn’t about pretending everything is okay. It’s about giving yourself permission to slow down, feel what you’re feeling, and focus on what you can control.

Practicing radical acceptance takes patience, self-awareness, and the willingness to release what isn’t serving you. You’re not alone in this process. I’m here with you every step of the way.

Let’s keep this conversation going.

And if you haven’t already, be sure to check out the full podcast episode for a deeper dive into these tools and real-life reflections.

🎧 Watch now: When Life Feels Out of Control: Practicing Radical Acceptance

Let’s stop trying to carry everything on our own and start creating space for peace, balance, and healing together.

#ThisTherapistHasProblemsPodcast, #MBSWholeHealth, #DFWTherapist, #FortWorthTherapist, #TexasTherapist, #KellerTherapist, #TTHPPodcast, #Counselor, #PodcastPremiere, #RadicalAcceptance, #MentalHealthMatters, #ProtectYourPeace