We Are Not Made to Do Life Alone: Building a Support System
In our fast-paced, often isolating world, it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to handle everything on our own. Yet, as I’ve learned firsthand, we are not built to do life by ourselves. Whether it’s through family, friends, or community connections, having a reliable support system is not only natural—it’s essential.
Why a Support System Matters
Our human DNA is wired for connection. We thrive when we’re surrounded by people who care, listen, and show up for us. In a recent conversation on my podcast, I reflected on a time when I was sick and chose not to reach out for help. I believed that keeping my struggles to myself would protect others from worry. But in doing so, I missed out on the chance to experience genuine care. My Texas mom, for example, gently reminded me, “Let me decide how I want to show up for you,” highlighting that sometimes, we need to allow others the opportunity to be there for us.
My Personal Journey
For a long time, I struggled with building a solid support system. Growing up, I didn’t always feel connected to my parents or siblings, and I fell into the familiar role of the helper—always listening but rarely sharing my own vulnerabilities. It wasn’t until I faced challenging life events, like going through a divorce and experiencing illness, that I recognized something important: if I don’t lean on others, I’m doing life alone, and that isn’t sustainable.
When I was under the weather recently, I reached out to just one friend instead of sharing my struggle with my family. The aftermath was eye-opening. Both my family and friends questioned why I hadn’t let them in, which made me realize that being open and asking for help is not a burden to those who love you—it’s an opportunity for connection.
Embracing Vulnerability
One of the most challenging parts of building a support system is opening up. Vulnerability is the cornerstone of deep, meaningful relationships. I learned that to truly receive support, I needed to allow myself to be seen—not just as the strong, independent person, but as someone who also needs care. By sharing my feelings and experiences, I began to repair and strengthen relationships that once felt distant.
It wasn’t an overnight transformation. It took hard conversations, a willingness to face discomfort, and a conscious decision to let people in. But every small step, from a long phone call with my mom to opening up with my sorority sisters, helped me build a network where trust and mutual support could flourish.
Practical Steps to Build Your Support System
If you feel that your current support system isn’t enough or doesn’t exist, know that it’s never too late to start building one. Here are some actionable steps that helped me, and might help you, cultivate a more connected and supportive network:
- Reflect on Your Circle:
Take a moment to think about the people already in your life. Who are they? What roles do they play? It might be a parent, a friend from high school, or even a co-worker. Ask yourself if these relationships are meeting your emotional needs. - Be Intentional About Connection:
Instead of waiting for support to come to you, actively reach out. This might mean setting aside time to call a loved one, inviting a friend for coffee, or simply sending a message to check in. Your support system won’t build itself—it requires effort and intentionality. - Utilize Your Communities:
Leverage the groups you’re already a part of. Whether it’s a sorority, a church group, or an online community like a Facebook group or even a dedicated friend-finding app like Bumble BFF, these communities offer a built-in network of potential connections with shared interests. - Accept That It Takes Time:
Building trust and deep relationships doesn’t happen overnight. Start by sharing small pieces of yourself and see how others respond. Over time, these small acts of vulnerability can lead to more significant and fulfilling connections. - Set Realistic Expectations:
Understand that no one person will fulfill every emotional need. A robust support system often includes different people for different types of support—some who are great for everyday fun, and others who can help you through life’s toughest moments.
Moving Forward Together
Life can be challenging, and it’s important to remember that reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness—it’s a courageous step toward healing and growth. I invite you to reflect on your own support system. Who are the people in your life who you can lean on? If you feel that there’s room for improvement, challenge yourself to take one small step today. Whether it’s rekindling an old friendship or joining a new group, know that you have the power to build the network you deserve.
What will your next step be?
Share your thoughts or a goal for strengthening your support system in the comments below. Let’s hold each other accountable and grow together—because none of us are meant to do life alone.
Thank you for being here. Let’s start the conversation.
Thank you for stepping into this space with me. Remember, building a support system takes work, vulnerability, and the willingness to let others in. I’m here with you every step of the way.
💬 Let’s Connect! Share your thoughts in the comments or let me know what topics you’d like to discuss. And don’t forget to subscribe to This Therapist Has Problems on your YouTube!
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